used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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