Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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