i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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