All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
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