Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
