Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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