Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
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