I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
