i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
