My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
