its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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