its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Randomize