I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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