So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
