Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
