the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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