if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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