I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
