Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
