2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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