She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
