honey bunches of taint.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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