yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
