I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
