ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
My vagina just recognized that song.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
