I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
