you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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