we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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