It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
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