I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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