But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
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You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
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I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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