She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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