Will you blow on my dice?
only you would photoshop your dick
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
