Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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