He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not