smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE