Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
and she was petting her beer can
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!