i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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