We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
