you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"