I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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