My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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