So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
