Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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