Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
