drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
