he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
