We named our party play list daddy issues
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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