why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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