he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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