Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize