If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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