He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
