There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
