if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
