she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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