I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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