Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize