I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
