There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
This is classic penis vs brain.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
