I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
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