She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Enjoy the penises
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
