shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
