part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
