So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
